Dave Smolar is co-founder
of Kikayon
Productions, creating turn-key solutions for Jewish
education. Our
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My goal in teaching children is to
teach Empathy. And Empathy cannot be
taught. If Empathy can be defined as the
human being’s inherent capacity for reaching into their own experience in order
to connect with another’s tragic loss or inspiring achievement, then lording
over a group of teens or toddlers or seniors, and dictating how they should
feel, isn’t the course of action. And
yet for me, teaching Empathy is the most important aspect of Jewish education. So out of necessity, I’ve tried to develop a
teaching style that somehow, even indirectly, reaches this goal.
Unless you’re teaching students in a
daily, formal pedagogic setting, I argue that you must create lesson plans that
get the kids out of their seats. By
acting out scenes or walking through their lessons, kids begin to internalize
the material you’re trying to convey, creating their own sense memory which
then helps them somehow attach and associate their own personal experiences to
the lesson. I repeat this idea to myself
every time I see their eyes wander, squint, and gradually migrate to the clock
on the wall above me in the classroom…and if they actually get to the point of
asking “When’s recess?” before I’ve transitioned them into something active and
fun, I know I’m behind the 8-ball and should’ve been moving faster in my lesson
and paid better attention.
That being said, all of us are now
experiencing what appears to be a ramp up of anti-Semitism in the United
States. If it’s possible for me to face
and address the course of recent human events without emotion or personal
opinion, I’d like to be true to my blog and this company of Kikayon Productions
by talking about Empathy. And I’d like
to explore how these nefarious times we live in can be used constructively to
build sensitivity in the next generation.
Experiential learning helps kids take the subject matter we teach and find
connections to their own lives, helping them build those emotional and synaptic
bridges that lead to a deeper, more personal understanding of why their Jewish
identity and heritage should mean so much to them.
I write this in the wake of at least 16
bomb threats called in today alone to Jewish community centers and day schools
in multiple states across the country, on the heels of numerous similar
incidents that have occurred just since the beginning of 2017. And I insist that we need to use the awful
events of today as teachable moments. We
should imply to students the gravity of the situation without dictating to them
how they should feel and react. We must
trust in them that, once the kids are in the right frame of mind, their minds
will accept what we explain to them is going on around them.
And then what? Which kids will feel righteous anger? Which will feel pity for those communities
affected? Which will feel mercy for the
lost souls committing these crimes?
I don’t know. You won’t know. But I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid of the perpetrators of these
crimes, I’m not afraid to live in my community as a Jew in my own respect, and
I’m not afraid of opening discussions, and dialogue, and creative outlets and
outward responses with a group of ten-year-olds.
And I have no agenda. I want to see what happens, what they do,
what they come up with. Maybe the
greater good in the room will lead to discussion. Maybe it will lead to their wanting to write
letters of support, or raise money for a cause, or plan a trip to somewhere to
support a silenced minority in our community, who knows. But any one of these elements arising from a
quieted room will mark the burgeoning and blossoming of Empathy in our children,
in their hearts, in their minds, and in their collective conscience.
We have a golden opportunity now to
make a true “gam zu l’tova”, find a
Jewish silver lining from the recent ravages of anti-Semitism, whether brutal
or subtle. Give your kids an article
about what’s going on. Have them read
one paragraph.
Say to them, “Circle a location you
recognize.” “Tell me if you’ve heard about this from your friends.” “Do you
think it could happen here? Because it’s
happening…right…now.”
This isn’t about kids today being hyper
and sugared up and disrespectful to the extent that the only way to teach them
is to play a game. To me, this is about
the empiric need, in our community and society in general, to help our Jewish
children find and grow their sense of Empathy.
When they truly feel for the characters or events or Torah stories at
hand or in the world around them, they will automatically become sensitive to
the material and take it personally. No
lecture, no arm-twisting, nothing more needed.
And once you as a teacher,
leader, or parent, realize they’ve crossed that line, you can do as I do. Stare at them, stand up before them, and
simply ask them:
“So…what do we do
now?”
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